Thursday, April 9, 2015

They said grade 5 would be tough on us.....

Today's post will mostly be a rant and to let out my frustrations. I am tired of looking at Facebook statuses of how great their kids did on their report cards. I understand these parents are proud of their kids and their accomplishments. For those of us who remain silent about the report card marks simply means that our child did not do well. And that is me. The social worker told us that in grade 5 we would be challenged by Crystal's behaviors and that is usually when they struggle in school as math and other subjects start to get harder. We thought we were doing a good job as parents and her report card before Christmas break reflected that. Crystal was on the honor roll and effort roll. Wow! We never imagined that would happen since she is diagnosed with RAD and at times when the work is too hard tunes out and does not participate. We use the agenda at school to communicate with the teacher and there really hasn't been any issues or problems this year. We think to ourselves, grade 5 really isn't that bad. We know she is still having a hard time with math, but she did get a B, so she must be finally getting it, understanding things.
BUT that was not the case! She brought home her report card yesterday and she had 2 B's a C in PE and then I flip it over and  there is no mark in the math column and when I read the comments at the bottom it said that Crystal had a difficult time with her math and will do better next term. What???? Reading further down on her report card beside science is A is the 1st term F, yes that is not a typo, F and F in second term. WTH? Doesn't the teacher tell you when your child is struggling? Why did I not know about her failing grade??? So here's why- Science Fair project that Crystal did on her own (we helped her along the way). We checked on her progress, her dad helped her make the windmills, we showed her how to control the flow of air by using a hair dryer, everything was nicely written and glued to a very expensive Science Fair presentation board, she did graphs, she brought it to school, she brought my hair dryer to school too. WE thought she did a really good job and she worked really hard on it. IT was HER project and not her parents project doing it for her (like I know some parents do). So when I asked her how the science fair went she said not that great. I know she is shy and didn't enjoy having to present it to a bunch of people she does not know. I think to myself, she probably froze up and couldn't explain the project well or something.... Well let me tell you what the comment at the bottom of her report card said- Crystal has a poor mark in science because she failed to turn in her assignments on the time line given. When given an extension, she still did not complete her assignment. So for Crystal, she would rather fail and get an F than to present her project. What should I do? Why did the teacher not contact me about it? How did she hide the Big Project Board? What did she tell the teacher? What does he think of us as parents? I kinda feel sick to my stomach. Did we fail her? Are we terrible parents because honestly, I was shocked at her F?
And how do you deal with a child that does not want to put any effort into her school work, she does not want to participate in classroom discussions, she puts in minimal work and really does not care that she got poor marks. This is unfamiliar territory for me and it freaks me out. WE always encourage our kids to do their best and try hard so that they can be better than that. Those parents that have children with D/F marks are usually not supportive of their kids, those kids usually miss a lot of school (FYI Crystal has perfect attendance), those kids have never been one of my kids until now. Lord help me to keep sane!

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