An interesting read on Chritianity Vs. Religion

Here is the link to the website this came from

 https://philippians1v21.wordpress.com/why-believe-in-jesus/why-christianity-is-not-a-religion/

Why Christianity is NOT a Religion

The way to be right with God in every religion is by earning your way.  It is based on works, not grace.  Christianity is different from every religion in this aspect: all other religions (including Mormonism, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism) state that you must earn the right to be reconciled with God.  It is by what you do in this life (good deeds or bad deeds) that determines your eternal destiny.  Christianity is completely different from this.  It is not religion.  My high school American Literature Teacher, Mr. Patton, (who wasn’t a Christian) described it this way:

“The difference between Christianity and every other faith in the world is that all other religions are about man trying to reach up to God.  Christianity is about God reaching down to man.”

This is a very important distinction, and it is core to what I believe, so I would like to try to clarify what I mean.  Here is the way I am defining religion:

Religion is a system of beliefs or a code of moral conduct that judges (qualifies or disqualifies) a person based on their adherence and obedience to certain codes, rules, laws, traditions, or the performance of required acts.

Religion (almost universally) is enforced by those in power in an attempt to maintain, increase, or abuse their power over others.  Religion is the creation of man and is not the intention or design of God.  A modern day example (taken from the movie “Footloose”, starring Kevin Bacon) is a preacher who believes that dancing leads to promiscuity and destructive behavior (the Bible does not speak against dancing).  He uses (abuses) his influence and his position of authority to convince his congregation that dancing is evil and forbids it.  He sets up rules that are not in the Bible and adds additional beliefs that Jesus never endorsed.  He is trying to control the people, using their trust of his authority to force them to believe his version of the truth.  He adds rules that don’t exist in the Bible.  In this example, he even has good motives, but he is still being religious and this “religion” is not from God.  This is so very common.  People have used Jesus to justify adding so many “requirements” to being a Christian.  Here are just a few of the countless examples:

• Not drinking alcohol
• Not listening to certain types of music
• Insisting that church meet on certain days
• Only certain forms of music can be used in church
• You can’t be saved unless you are circumcised
• Reciting ritualistic prayers
• Saying you aren’t saved unless you get baptized
• You can’t eat certain foods
• Requiring you to perform rituals
• Being saved is conditional upon attending church or church membership
• Saying that you have to earn your salvation by doing good deeds

I could go on and on.  When Jesus was on the earth, religion was very rampant, as it is today.  There was a group of corrupt religious leaders called the Pharisees who had taken the word of God, passed down from Moses and the prophets (the Torah), and written a commentary on it interpreting what the scriptures said (called the Talmud).  Then they wrote another commentary on that commentary called the “Mishnah”.  The Mishnah was a list of hundreds rules to meet in order to insure that you were obeying the word of God.  These were created by man and had little basis in the actual scripture.

For example, one of the 10 Commandments (from the Torah) was, “Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy”.  The Pharisees had made literally hundreds of rules in the Mishnah that detailed to the n-th degree what you had to do in order to keep that commandment.  There was a rule that you couldn’t walk through a field on the Sabbath because your sandal might clip a grain of wheat, and if it did you would be harvesting grain.  If you were harvesting, you had worked on the Sabbath and sinned.  Another example is that you could not spit on the ground on the Sabbath because your spit would create mud and this was making mortar.  If you created mortar you were working on the Sabbath and therefore sinning.
 

Jesus hated this!  He hated the way the Pharisees used the people’s love for God (or fear of God) to control them, limit their freedom, and empty them of the relationship with God that was intended.  When you practice religion, your relationship with God is degraded to a mathematical formula.  Do this, then do this, don’t do that, and presto. . . you are right in the eyes of God.  This is TOTALLY missing the point!  God wants so much more.  He wants to have a real relationship with you.  He wants to show his love to you and He wants you to love Him.  That was the point of the original commandment, “Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy”.  The Sabbath day was supposed to be a day for us to take a little break from working, refocus on what’s important, spend time with our family, and spend time with God.  You can’t build a deep relationship without spending quality time together.
 

If you read the 10 Commandments you will notice that they are all about relationships.  They are either about improving our relationship with God or with other people.  As Jesus Himself said:

 “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.  The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” ~ Matt 22:37-40

And Paul said:

 “For the commandments say, “You must not commit adultery. You must not murder. You must not steal. You must not covet.” These—and other such commandments—are summed up in this one commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law.” ~ Rom 13:9-10

So the law can be summed up in love; love for God and love for others.  The law is about relationships; vertical and horizontal.  It is about our vertical relationship with our creator and our horizontal relationships with the rest of mankind.  It was never intended to be a list of rules that can be relegated to a checklist or mathematical formula.  We are talking about love.

So the Pharisees took the commandment to remember the Sabbath and added religion to it by making that ridiculous rule about spitting on the ground.  Jesus showed his complete disregard for their rules when he repeatedly healed people on the Sabbath.  The Pharisees considered this “work”.  On one particular occasion, He healed a blind man on the Sabbath by spitting on the ground, making some mud, and rubbing it on the man’s eyes.  Jesus was God.  He didn’t have to spit on the ground to heal the man.  He was making a point to the Pharisees and everyone watching him that religion was wrong.

 “Having said this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam“.  So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.  Then they took the man who had been blind to the Pharisees, because it was on the Sabbath that Jesus had made the mud and healed him.  Some of the Pharisees said, “This man Jesus is not from God, for he is working on the Sabbath.”  ~ John 9:6-7, 13-14, 16

Religion is man trying to reach up to God.  The message of Christianity is God reaching down to man.  Religion is about what man has to DO to be right with God.  Christianity is about what God has already DONE to provide us the opportunity to be right with Him.  Religion says you must EARN your salvation by doing good deeds or certain acts and not doing evil.  Christianity says all we need to do is BELIEVE that Christ has already paid the price for the evil we have done.  Christianity says we are all evil (filled with sin) and there is nothing we can do to earn the right to be saved.  Christianity says that God (in the form of Jesus Christ) stepped into our place and paid the awful price that had to be paid for us.  He gave us the free gift of salvation if we choose to believe in Jesus.

“Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. He suffered physical death, but he was raised to life in the Spirit.” ~ 1 Pet 3:18
“But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” ~ John 1:12
“Obviously, the law applies to those to whom it was given, for its purpose is to keep people from having excuses, and to show that the entire world is guilty before God. For no one can ever be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are.  But now God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law, as was promised in the writings of Moses and the prophets long ago. We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.  For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood.” ~ Rom 3:19-25

We are free by God’s great gift.  All we have to do is claim it.  Just like a Christmas present, it is a FREE GIFT (that cost the giver dearly), but it doesn’t become ours until we believe that the giver does care for us and that what is inside the box is something good.  We then have to receive the FREE GIFT.  It doesn’t become ours until we trust the giver and choose to receive the gift.
 

You see, as the verse from Romans above states, we can’t be saved by abiding by the law (the 10 Commandments).  This is a list of rules.  We can’t be saved by the effort of man.  The bible clearly states this.

 “God saved you by his grace when you believed.  And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” ~ Eph 2:8-9

So often you hear from people that they think they will go to heaven because they have “been a good person”.  Being good has nothing to do with whether you are saved or not.  That’s religion.  You can’t earn it.  Thank God, because none of us could ever be good enough.  “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.”  God is perfect, and in order to be one with God and commune with the Almighty we would have to be perfect too.  Only one person could ever do this, Jesus Christ.  That’s why it took Jesus to stand in the gap and pay the price for all of us.  Our sins are erased because of Christ.  Theologians use a big term for this called “Substitutionary atonement”.

 “If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth.  But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.  If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.” ~1 John 1:8-10

So, you might ask why, then, was the law was given.  It was given to show us that we need God.  As Paul says in Rom 7:7:

 “In fact, it was the law that showed me my sin.  I would never have known that coveting is wrong if the law had not said, you must not covet.”  ~ Rom 7:7

Without the law as a standard we would not even realize that we needed a redeemer and savior from our sin.  The law was just and correct.  There was nothing wrong with the law.  This is the way we are called to act.  However, as humans we do not have the ability to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, souls, and minds and love our neighbor as much as ourselves all the time, everyday.  Because sin was introduced into the world by man, we are inclined to sin and no one can live this way.  So, we are in need of redemption from this predicament.  Christ provided this.  He did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill it.

“Don’t misunderstand why I have come.  I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets.  No, I came to accomplish their purpose.  I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God’s law will disappear until its purpose is achieved.” ~ Matt 5:17-18

Through Christ we are made perfect in God’s eyes.  We are forgiven from all sin; past and future.  When we receive Him, He gives us his Holy Spirit that has the power to change us and make us more like Him.  This is a process, but as this happens we begin to realize that we are living in the love originally required by the law.  The original intention, the heart of the law, is established in our lives.  Our relationships with God and others are founded in love.

It is the Holy Spirit that accomplishes this within us, not our own human effort.  The Bible describes this process as Holy Spirit producing fruit:

 “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.  The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants.  And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.  But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.  But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!  Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful natureto his cross and crucified them there.  Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.” ~ Gal 5:16-18, 22-25

This is the difference between religion and true Christianity.  There is no checklist or list of rules that you must follow.  It is ALL about your relationships, vertical and horizontal.  There is no rhetoric or rituals that have to be practiced.  Believe that Jesus Christ came to earth and died for your sins, accept his FREE GIFT, let God help you to love Him and love others.  That’s it!  It is so simple it sounds stupid, and it would be if there was no real power here.  I’m here to testify that when you do this, the relationship with God is REAL and the power to change your life is there!  Religion is empty.  But, in Christ there is power.

“The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God.” ~ 1 Corr 1:18

So when you look around at the church and what has happened in history you see a lot of bad things, and some good as well.  The key thing that you must understand is that historically “the church” is predominately a religious organization with man-made rules and controls.  This is evil and God is not in it.  Good has been done by the few that truly understand what it means to be a Christian.  These look like Christ.  The Bible says, “You will know them by their fruits.”  It also says:

“But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him.  Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.” ~ 1 John 2:5-6

Here is a verse that shows why most people who claim to be Christians really aren’t:

“You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.” ~ Matt 7:13-14

And Another Great Article I found and am sharing here regarding Attachment Disorder

Attachment Disorder: When Consequences Never Deliver

April 21, 2015 by Monica 

While lying tops the charts of the most difficult aspects of parenting a child who has experienced trauma, because let’s face it, no one likes to be lied to again and again, there is another extremely difficult aspect of parenting trauma that deserves some attention.
Can you imagine parenting a child who fails to respond with consistency and regularity to any and all system of consequences? Natural consequences, positive rewards, negative consequences. Charts, colors, stars, prizes, etc. etc. None, and I’ll say it again, none, of these traditional parenting methods make any lasting difference in altering undesirable behavior in a child who has experienced trauma, loss or anything else that would place them on the attachment disorder spectrum.
Because for this child, it’s all about control: keeping control, losing control, maintaining control, refusing to hand over control. And because it’s all about control, traditional consequence systems will only work if the child still perceives that he or she is in control.
Sound like fun? 
This is a daily, often minute to minute reality in homes that have welcomed trauma. It’s no walk in the park, I assure you. In fact, it’s more like a T11 tornado blowing through said park. More accurately, it’s like a T11 tornado blowing through said park and you are almost praying it picks you up and carries you off to the Land of Oz.
Can you imagine? Are you drinking a glass of wine for me right now? I hope so! 
Think about this. A healthy child may climb to the top of a piece of playground equipment and fall off. Upon impact, the child gets hurts and also probably has a memory burned into her or his brain linking the behavior to the consequence. The memory link will serve to remind her or him that climbing to the top is dangerous and could result in bodily harm. This child probably would at least think twice before doing it again.
Now, I am mother of three boys and I know what some of you are thinking. My kids would be right back to climbing up that piece of equipment in no time at all. Perhaps. But somewhere…somewhere in their brain lives the memory of getting hurt. This memory thereby helps that child to alter their strategy going forward. Why? Because they don’t want to get hurt again.
For a child with attachment disorder, there isn’t much, if any, thought given to previous consequences before engaging in risky behavior. Again and again and again…
Now, think about systems such as behavioral modification systems that reward a desirable behavior. In my child’s classroom, a color system is used to encourage good behavior and prevent poor behavior. Even my two rambunctious, into everything, boys respond favorably to this system. They know that green is good and desirable and red is bad and to be avoided. At the end of each day, they are so happy to report when they are green or above. Why? Because they know it is the right thing to do.
Again, this system fails miserably at correcting undesirable behavior in a child with attachment disorder. Our youngest has been on yellow and red more times than I care to count. While she can verbally tell you that yellow or red is not desirable, there is no lasting link to her heart or brain that helps her correct her behavior as things are unfolding. Why? Because it’s all about control for her.
My attachment challenged child will usually never risk giving up control. Not for green, blue or purple. She may appear to cooperate from time to time, but if you dig deeper there will be a reason beyond it simply being the right thing to do. Sadly, the reason that most often motivates her is food. Why is this sad? Because it is linked to another early childhood trauma: malnutrition.
You see, trauma has shaped her in such as way that forfeiting any control is simply another loss in her life. Because she has lost so much already and because her early childhood trauma was such that she had absolutely no control over her life-threatening circumstances, she digs in deep and holds tight to anything and everything that she chooses.
Remembering that truth, that the did not choose this and does not choose this, is the only thing that keeps me keeping on most days. 
And I’m not even going to talk about negative consequences. Attachment challenged children would spend their entire childhood in timeout or without dessert if there were a snowball’s chance in hell that this type of system would ever produce fruit.
I can count on a fingerless hand how many times negative consequences have worked.
Just today, my daughter was sent home with a think sheet:
Think sheets are filled out and sent home after a child has received several warning to correct undesirable behavior. These are NOT good. None of our other children have ever received one of these, so when our youngest first brought one home, I was at a loss. Parents of children who have experienced trauma are often at a loss.
I met my child’s teacher after school to discuss what happened. Thankfully, my daughter appeared somewhat remorseful about the events that led to her think sheet. She is not malicious. She very often has no idea why she does what she does. Her teachers agreed and affirmed that nothing seems to produce lasting behavior changes. We are all at a loss.
Loss produces more loss. Ironic.
The think sheet began the unraveling that resulted in a near-miss, full-blown rage this afternoon. Our daughter, upset by her think sheet and me talking to her teacher, proceeded to go into her bedroom and engage in other destructive behavior: lying, stealing food, hiding things.
This resulted, of course, in additional stress and disagreement among the adults in my house about how this situation should be handled. Because it’s all a vicious cycle. One thing triggers another, triggers another…and frankly, it SUCKS!
Things weren’t meant to be this way; my child should not have been malnourished and orphaned. She was only 2 years old. She didn’t ask for anything that life handed her. There is enough food in our world to meet this basic need.
Loss produces more loss and so on and so forth until we all decide to do things differently and stop the loss from happening in the first place. That is truly the only way.
I hold tight daily to the hope found in Christ and the solidarity found in Christ. I know God called us to enter the mess, and it’s in the mess where we received new vision. And as shitty as some days can be, I also know my life’s purpose and redemption is found, daily, in this heap of seemingly crappy circumstances that must be navigated ever so carefully. I wouldn’t trade my pile of crap, because as stinky as it is, I have come to know it, love it and adore it.
Just before bed tonight, as I always do after episodes, I popped my head into our daughter’s room and asked, “M, is there anything you could ever do that would make me stop loving you?” She said, “No mama.” I asked, “Will Mama ever leave you?” “No, mommy,” she replied. “Love you, Missy,” I said. “Love you, Mama!” she replied, “Tomorrow will be better.”
And it may. Or, it may not. That’s what we signed up for.
And while I would love to be able to offer some practical advice on how to handle a child who exhibits the aforementioned behaviors, I am simply in this boat with you, paddling along. I’ve got little to nothing to offer except solidarity, and prayers, and hope that in our joining together as a village of parents who are living through this and trying our best, we will figure out a better way forward, together. Please, Jesus!

Christian parents and Out of Wed-lock Pregnancy

 Sharing this article I read

Question: "How should Christian parents handle a teen daughter who has become pregnant?"

Answer: It seems that one of the hardest things for Christians to remember is that it is not a sin to be pregnant. It’s not a sin to be pregnant out of wedlock. And it’s not a sin to be born to unmarried parents. It is a sin to have sex outside the marriage relationship—and it is just as much a sin for the man as for the woman. But an unbiblical intimate relationship is a much easier thing to hide from critical eyes than a pregnancy and, sadly, less damaging to a family’s reputation in the Christian community.

As disappointing and overwhelming as it may be to learn a teenage daughter is pregnant, it’s crucial to keep a kingdom perspective. The sin is done. Whatever influences the teens have been under to lead them to sin can’t be avoided now. This new situation is not about the morality of out-of-wedlock sex or the reputation of a family. It’s about the development of a child. All children are blessings from God, and He has a plan for each one (Psalm 139:13-18). Even if the circumstances in which the baby comes may be less than ideal, that child is as precious and loved by God as any other.

The pregnant daughter is also precious to God. The role of parents is to teach and guide their children to live godly lives in whatever they face. This is a prime opportunity to do just that. The girl may be scared, ashamed, and emotional, and it is her parents’ responsibility to help her push past emotion and turn to her Heavenly Father.

Some parents fear that giving their daughter the love and support she needs will encourage the behavior that led to the pregnancy. But, again, being pregnant and giving birth to a child is not a sin, and there are so many other benefits to actively and publicly standing with a pregnant teen. It fosters an environment in which the child is valued as a blessing. It encourages the father to take responsibility without fear. And it makes abortion look like a much less desirable option.

If a family abandons their pregnant teen—even emotionally—she will be much more likely to make harmful decisions. She may think marrying the baby’s father is the only option. She may not know how to take care of her health and that of the baby. Other pregnant teens may see the volatile relationship and keep their own condition secret.

Conversely, the girl will be able to make much wiser decisions about her and her baby’s future if she can rest in her parents’ acceptance and loving guidance. Making this journey more emotionally difficult for her will not encourage clear thinking. Wise parents will help their daughter walk through the options of keeping the child or adoption. It may also be beneficial to involve the father and his family; he needs to take as much ownership as the mother. After careful prayer, parents should be clear about the level of support they can give in raising the child. Make use of Christian crisis pregnancy centers.

Our God is a powerful God who can bring joy and blessing even out of our sin. There may be incredibly tough times ahead for the pregnant teen and her family, but our God is the God who redeems.

Read more: http://www.gotquestions.org/teen-pregnancy.html#ixzz3XbHPPF6o

They said grade 5 would be tough on us.....

Today's post will mostly be a rant and to let out my frustrations. I am tired of looking at Facebook statuses of how great their kids did on their report cards. I understand these parents are proud of their kids and their accomplishments. For those of us who remain silent about the report card marks simply means that our child did not do well. And that is me. The social worker told us that in grade 5 we would be challenged by Crystal's behaviors and that is usually when they struggle in school as math and other subjects start to get harder. We thought we were doing a good job as parents and her report card before Christmas break reflected that. Crystal was on the honor roll and effort roll. Wow! We never imagined that would happen since she is diagnosed with RAD and at times when the work is too hard tunes out and does not participate. We use the agenda at school to communicate with the teacher and there really hasn't been any issues or problems this year. We think to ourselves, grade 5 really isn't that bad. We know she is still having a hard time with math, but she did get a B, so she must be finally getting it, understanding things.
BUT that was not the case! She brought home her report card yesterday and she had 2 B's a C in PE and then I flip it over and  there is no mark in the math column and when I read the comments at the bottom it said that Crystal had a difficult time with her math and will do better next term. What???? Reading further down on her report card beside science is A is the 1st term F, yes that is not a typo, F and F in second term. WTH? Doesn't the teacher tell you when your child is struggling? Why did I not know about her failing grade??? So here's why- Science Fair project that Crystal did on her own (we helped her along the way). We checked on her progress, her dad helped her make the windmills, we showed her how to control the flow of air by using a hair dryer, everything was nicely written and glued to a very expensive Science Fair presentation board, she did graphs, she brought it to school, she brought my hair dryer to school too. WE thought she did a really good job and she worked really hard on it. IT was HER project and not her parents project doing it for her (like I know some parents do). So when I asked her how the science fair went she said not that great. I know she is shy and didn't enjoy having to present it to a bunch of people she does not know. I think to myself, she probably froze up and couldn't explain the project well or something.... Well let me tell you what the comment at the bottom of her report card said- Crystal has a poor mark in science because she failed to turn in her assignments on the time line given. When given an extension, she still did not complete her assignment. So for Crystal, she would rather fail and get an F than to present her project. What should I do? Why did the teacher not contact me about it? How did she hide the Big Project Board? What did she tell the teacher? What does he think of us as parents? I kinda feel sick to my stomach. Did we fail her? Are we terrible parents because honestly, I was shocked at her F?
And how do you deal with a child that does not want to put any effort into her school work, she does not want to participate in classroom discussions, she puts in minimal work and really does not care that she got poor marks. This is unfamiliar territory for me and it freaks me out. WE always encourage our kids to do their best and try hard so that they can be better than that. Those parents that have children with D/F marks are usually not supportive of their kids, those kids usually miss a lot of school (FYI Crystal has perfect attendance), those kids have never been one of my kids until now. Lord help me to keep sane!